All About My Vagina

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: bangambiki <cmukayoboka@yahoo.com>
Date: Mon, 21 Sep 2009 05:43:05 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: [The Laughington Post] MARRIAGES JOKES
To: bangambiki@igituba.org

MARRIAGES JOKES
http://dailylovetips.blogspot.com/
http://blissfulmarriagesecrets.blogspot.com/
http://thefatalwoman.blogspot.com/

Marines Marriage Math

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his
breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there
is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the
morning?"

"There is." he replied, "Breakfast."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it
because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he
had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter
their life-style.

"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."

"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the
gardener."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man bursts into his house and yells, "Pack your bags, Honey, I just
won the lottery!"

She says, "Oh, wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the
mountains?"

He replies, "I don't care ... Just get the hell out!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds "Wife Wanted".

The next day, he received hundreds of replies, all reading the same
thing: "You can have mine."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Daddy," a little boy asked his father. "How much does it cost to get
married?"

"I don't know, son. I'm still paying for it."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your
house and car with them.

--
Posted By bangambiki to The Laughington Post at 9/21/2009 05:43:00 AM

--
www.igituba.org
www.althotgirls.com
www.laughingtonpost.com
www.myvagina.org
www.thefreecashreport.blogspot.com

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Silvina Luna-Fatal Woman

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Fatal Woman

Silvina Luna

Silvina Luna
Country : Argentina
Height : 160 cm
Measurements : 87-61-91

Silvina Noelia Luna (born June 21, 1980) is an Argentine supermodel and actress born in Rosario, Santa Fe, Argentina.

Born in the city of Rosario, Silvina Luna wanted to study drama and get a job to help her family. After finishing school at the age of 17, she moved to Buenos Aires and worked as secretary and a model. She lived in Miami for a year with a friend. Back in Argentina she entered Big Brother 2 where she became famous as one of the participants.

Now she is in the model agency of Ricardo Piñeiro and has achieved lots of her dreams. She guest-starred in some important TV Shows and loves to work on stage as a comedian.

In a recent interview she revealed that in the future, she will start singing Tango songs.

Source : Wikipedia

HOT MENS JOKES

2009-09-21T18:25:00.001-07:00

HOT MENS JOKES

HOT MENS JOKES
LOVE JOKES
MARRIAGES JOKES
MICROSOFT JOKES
MILITARY JOKES
The Fatal Woman

HOT MENS JOKES

Posted: 21 Sep 2009 05:51 AM PDT

MEN JOKES

http://www.althotgirls.com/
http://thefatalwoman.blogspot.com/
http://girls24.blogspot.com/
http://hotgirlsfire.blogspot.com/
http://althotmodels.blogspot.com/

A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds "Wife Wanted".

The next day, he received hundreds of replies, all reading the same thing: "You can have mine."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, carees her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Arrive naked ... with beer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A young man with a wild and multi-coloured hairstyle sits next to an old man on a park bench. The old man stares at the young man.

"What's the matter, old man?" says the young man. "Never done anything crazy in your life?"

The old man replies: "Yeah. When I was in the Navy, I got really drunk one night and had sex with a parrot. I thought you might be my son."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a man consider a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack of beer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope ... due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So ... what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I wish for ... a good mate."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that fucking map!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs."

The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs,".

And men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."

All three fork over the money. The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilise one egg?

They won't stop to ask directions.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date.
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place.
36% of the women favour nudity.
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes.
46% of the women experienced anal sex.
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning.
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations.
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest.
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.

Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral:

Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front. The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.

"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her.

He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind-hearted?"
The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son."
"Why did you make her so good-looking?"
"So you could love her, my son."
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
"So you could love her, my son."

The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but ... why did you make her so stupid?"

"So she could love you, my son."

LOVE JOKES

Posted: 21 Sep 2009 05:52 AM PDT

LOVE JOKES

http://dailylovetips.blogspot.com/
http://thefatalwoman.blogspot.com/
http://dailymarriagetips.blogspot.com/

A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.

"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."

"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."

Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that Was enjoyable."

And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve." And Adam said, "What is a caress'? So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.

Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "You've done well, Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve." And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.

And Adam said, "Lord, what is a headache?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"

The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."

The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but ... why did you make her so stupid?"

"So she could love you, my son."

MARRIAGES JOKES

Posted: 21 Sep 2009 05:43 AM PDT

MARRIAGES JOKES

http://dailylovetips.blogspot.com/
http://blissfulmarriagesecrets.blogspot.com/

http://thefatalwoman.blogspot.com/

Marines Marriage Math

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is." he replied, "Breakfast."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.

"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."

"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man bursts into his house and yells, "Pack your bags, Honey, I just won the lottery!"

She says, "Oh, wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"

He replies, "I don't care ... Just get the hell out!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds "Wife Wanted".

The next day, he received hundreds of replies, all reading the same thing: "You can have mine."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Daddy," a little boy asked his father. "How much does it cost to get married?"

"I don't know, son. I'm still paying for it."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

MICROSOFT JOKES

Posted: 21 Sep 2009 05:23 AM PDT

MICROSOFT JOKES

http://thewinningmind.blogspot.com/

Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?"

Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below outside ..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They say when you play that Microsoft CD backward you can hear satanic messages ... but that's nothing. If you play it forward it will install Windows.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1. They replicate quickly. ... Okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. ... Okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. ... Okay, Windows does that too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. ... Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. ... Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus. ... It's a bug.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"

Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."

Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):

"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8) New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9) The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11) GM would also require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12) Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is Linux land. In silent nights you can hear the Windows machines rebooting.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Windows is the solution, can we please have the problem back?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Computers are like air conditioners, they stop working properly if you open Windows.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer works.
Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works.
DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn't work.
Windows is for those who don't want to know why their computer doesn't work.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Windows is the solution, can we please have the problem back?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Computer Heaven:

The management is from Intel,
The design and construction is done by Apple,
The marketing is done by Microsoft,
IBM provides the support,
Gateway determines the pricing.

In Computer Hell:

The management is from Apple,
Microsoft does design and construction,
IBM handles the marketing,
The support is from Gateway,
Intel sets the price.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: "Hey, where am I?". The solitary office worker replies: "You're in an airplane.". The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it. "Elementary," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is three minutes away on a course of 87 degrees."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):

"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

MILITARY JOKES

Posted: 21 Sep 2009 05:19 AM PDT

MILITARY JOKES

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.

1) If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
2) If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
3) If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
4) If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
5) If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."

Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"

"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."

---------------------------------------------------------

Number of US Guns

How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy?

Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.

------------------------------------------------------

A Flat Major

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

The Fatal Woman

Posted: 20 Sep 2009 07:08 PM PDT

The Fatal Woman

Posted: 20 Sep 2009 02:54 PM PDT

For more Fatal Woman visit

http://www.althotgirls.com/

http://hotnakedcelebrities.blogspot.com/

http://hotgirlsfire.blogspot.com/

http://hottestgirlsintheworld.blogspot.com/

http://thefatalwoman.blogspot.com/

Giorgia Palmas

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2009-09-21T09:01:00.001-07:00

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HOT MENS JOKES

2009-09-21T05:50:00.000-07:00

MEN JOKES

http://www.althotgirls.com/
http://thefatalwoman.blogspot.com/
http://girls24.blogspot.com/
http://hotgirlsfire.blogspot.com/
http://althotmodels.blogspot.com/

A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds "Wife Wanted".

The next day, he received hundreds of replies, all reading the same thing: "You can have mine."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Arrive naked ... with beer.

"What's the matter, old man?" says the young man. "Never done anything crazy in your life?"

The old man replies: "Yeah. When I was in the Navy, I got really drunk one night and had sex with a parrot. I thought you might be my son."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a man consider a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack of beer.

The Genie said, "Nope ... due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So ... what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that fucking map!"

All three fork over the money. The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilise one egg?

They won't stop to ask directions.

Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral:

Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!

"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but ... why did you make her so stupid?"

"So she could love you, my son."

LOVE JOKES

2009-09-21T05:47:00.001-07:00

LOVE JOKES

http://dailylovetips.blogspot.com/
http://thefatalwoman.blogspot.com/
http://dailymarriagetips.blogspot.com/

A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.

"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."

"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."

And Adam said, "Lord, what is a headache?"

The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but ... why did you make her so stupid?"

"So she could love you, my son."

MARRIAGES JOKES

2009-09-21T05:43:00.001-07:00

MARRIAGES JOKES

http://dailylovetips.blogspot.com/
http://blissfulmarriagesecrets.blogspot.com/

http://thefatalwoman.blogspot.com/

Marines Marriage Math

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is." he replied, "Breakfast."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.

"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."

"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man bursts into his house and yells, "Pack your bags, Honey, I just won the lottery!"

She says, "Oh, wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"

He replies, "I don't care ... Just get the hell out!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds "Wife Wanted".

The next day, he received hundreds of replies, all reading the same thing: "You can have mine."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Daddy," a little boy asked his father. "How much does it cost to get married?"

"I don't know, son. I'm still paying for it."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

MICROSOFT JOKES

2009-09-21T05:23:00.001-07:00